If you cannot have empathy for the helpless, the suffering, then what is your empathy like for yourself and your partner?
Does empathy stir up action for you or just an emotion?
Does compassion flow from empathy or were you taught that is weakness?
Imagine coming home from the market and you have extra fruit and vegetables. A homeless person is at the corner.
Do you give of your excess?
Do they need to eat fruit and vegetables, just like you?
Are you the type of person who helps others in need?
Apply this to your relationship, because we are fairly consistent.
Do you help your partner when they need your help or do you insist that they always are self-sufficient?
Do you insist that they meet your particular standard of need and worth, that they work for it or do you help people according to their need?
What does your style do to the other person?
Does it draw them in for connection or push them away?
Are you able to put yourself in their shoes and build connection or does that part of you need some work?