Friends with Affection
"I am the biggest prude in Rochester, and let me tell you the competition is not very keen!"
I hear interesting stories every day. We all do, right?
Before I pass this one along, want to let you know I get permission from the person before sharing. "If it can help someone else, please share it, Don."
Everyone has heard of "friends with benefits " or "sex buddies" by now. It helps no one to judge people - you don't know the tradeoffs, the context, motivation or how they arrived at their decision.
A new one popped up, called "friends with affection." No sexual intimacy in the relationship. The relationship is clearly and consciously negotiated and includes holding hands and/or kissing. They want friendship and the cuddling/affection that you might expect from a romantic relationship. The expectations are clear and they talk about it- "how's it working for you?" from time to time.
The woman who told me about it was honest about some pitfalls and confusion that could arise. Talked about how she would previously get into relationships and the sexual expectations were not out in the open. Since her cuddle needs were not met, she was "starving for affection." She wanted to be held and touched etc but not quite ready for more physical intimacy. She now feels comfortable with the discussion and being direct with what needs she has.
Interesting concept- will give you updates, if she's comfortable with that. Before I do, any questions or comments?
"I am the biggest prude in Rochester, and let me tell you the competition is not very keen!"
I hear interesting stories every day. We all do, right?
Before I pass this one along, want to let you know I get permission from the person before sharing. "If it can help someone else, please share it, Don."
Everyone has heard of "friends with benefits " or "sex buddies" by now. It helps no one to judge people - you don't know the tradeoffs, the context, motivation or how they arrived at their decision.
A new one popped up, called "friends with affection." No sexual intimacy in the relationship. The relationship is clearly and consciously negotiated and includes holding hands and/or kissing. They want friendship and the cuddling/affection that you might expect from a romantic relationship. The expectations are clear and they talk about it- "how's it working for you?" from time to time.
The woman who told me about it was honest about some pitfalls and confusion that could arise. Talked about how she would previously get into relationships and the sexual expectations were not out in the open. Since her cuddle needs were not met, she was "starving for affection." She wanted to be held and touched etc but not quite ready for more physical intimacy. She now feels comfortable with the discussion and being direct with what needs she has.
Interesting concept- will give you updates, if she's comfortable with that. Before I do, any questions or comments?
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