Tis the season.
I have already heard a few stories about Thanksgiving and the preparations for Christmas.
Please manage expectations and have a plan.
Let’s talk conflict
My inner conflict is that I “lost” a file or at least cannot find it. I back up my work and usually have it backed up to another drive. I may, therefore, have a couple repeat blogs.
Also, I created a youtube channel called Healthy Conflict. While it is geared towards young adults, many of the concepts are what I teach my married couples and people early in relationship. If you would like to subscribe, you can get more ideas from me about conflict and some good healing messages. I will continue adding ideas and videos from the blog, as well.
Today, the subject is Martyrdom.
Martyrdom is simply unattractive and often blames the other. It is a push away for many people. People rarely feel sympathetic to someone who is claiming to be the martyr and it is not often an accurate claim. Rarely, is it the case that one person is 100% wrong and the other is 100% innocent. It does happen, but it is rare.
It is a better strategy to see cause and effect and one’s contribution to the problem rather than say, “You wronged me and I did nothing wrong.” We can do better than that.
“I feel really hurt by _____(what you said or did)” is a better way to start that conversation. No blame or claim of innocence (often implying all the guilt is on the other person, who is clearly a perpetrator- not going to land well).
Challenge: Clean up your side of the equation. Am I perfect and the other person is awful? Am I blaming the other and not owning my contribution? Am I over reacting? Am I seeing this clearly? Could there be something I am missing?
I have already heard a few stories about Thanksgiving and the preparations for Christmas.
Please manage expectations and have a plan.
Let’s talk conflict
My inner conflict is that I “lost” a file or at least cannot find it. I back up my work and usually have it backed up to another drive. I may, therefore, have a couple repeat blogs.
Also, I created a youtube channel called Healthy Conflict. While it is geared towards young adults, many of the concepts are what I teach my married couples and people early in relationship. If you would like to subscribe, you can get more ideas from me about conflict and some good healing messages. I will continue adding ideas and videos from the blog, as well.
Today, the subject is Martyrdom.
Martyrdom is simply unattractive and often blames the other. It is a push away for many people. People rarely feel sympathetic to someone who is claiming to be the martyr and it is not often an accurate claim. Rarely, is it the case that one person is 100% wrong and the other is 100% innocent. It does happen, but it is rare.
It is a better strategy to see cause and effect and one’s contribution to the problem rather than say, “You wronged me and I did nothing wrong.” We can do better than that.
“I feel really hurt by _____(what you said or did)” is a better way to start that conversation. No blame or claim of innocence (often implying all the guilt is on the other person, who is clearly a perpetrator- not going to land well).
Challenge: Clean up your side of the equation. Am I perfect and the other person is awful? Am I blaming the other and not owning my contribution? Am I over reacting? Am I seeing this clearly? Could there be something I am missing?
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