You want a change and it is not happening. There are some easy ways, listed in the book, "The Catalyst" to determine what gets in the way.
“What parking brakes are getting in the way?
What barriers or roadblocks are stopping them from changing their mind?”
They talked about multiple research results - giving people information or trying to persuade them actually works against you. People dig in and defend their position when you give them facts or they fear being persuaded.
Let them be active participants instead of passerby- so that they are in control they can convince themselves.
Lower the barrier to trial -When you read the book, look for the Zappos example. Another example, best read from the book is “Freemium”- When deciding which dimension to limit, the solution comes back to uncertainty.
What experience will provide enough certainty that it’s worth paying to upgrade?
How do you identify the barriers?
Without understanding the problem, it’s hard to suggest a good solution. Understand first and foremost, by listening and watch how much more easily you arrive at an acceptable solution.
How does this apply to relationships? Your spouse did or didn’t do something and you wish life were a little different. You want them to hear your perspective, and then maybe they would change, but instead they dig in when you try to change them.
Try listening to them today and maybe, maybe tomorrow, consider bringing up your perspective.
Only after they confirm that you fully understood theirs. If you want people to change, do not take them on head first. Listen to them and they are more open to influence. Allow them to be their own person.
Ask yourself if you are someone who enjoys having power over someone or power with someone.