Boice Counseling
  • Home
  • Retreats and Books
    • Books and Audio
    • Helpful Resources
    • Insurance/Costs
  • Services
  • News/Blog
  • Contact Us

What Would You Do?

10/28/2015

0 Comments

 
Those of you who know me well, know that I am rarely at a loss for words. Imagine this exchange in my office, verified by both parties:

So, Don, she told me, I miss you
I asked her, Oh would you like to talk?
She replied Wanna talk later? 
Me-Yeah, What time? 
She-(Radio silence )
So, Don, the call never happens. She tells me, Just call me and does not want to arrange a time. We are both incredibly busy, so I press for a time. She rags on me for being inflexible with time and I simply want to make sure we are both on the same page. I tell her,  I hate calling cold- gimme a range of times
She-(Silence) 
me-So I call and she doesn’t pick up. I call the next day, no answer. I call the next day, no answer. We text in between, but it is a poor substitute for a true conversation. She won’t answer me in more than one word a bunch of those texts.
She texts-We should hang out 
I reply-Yeah that would be nice, when? 
Radio silence 
Me-Would x work for you? 
She-Nah
Me-But you said that was your best night 
She-Yes, I'm really busy
Me- Okay, when, then? I'm not going to be the one doing all the work 
She-Didn't ask you to
Me-You said you wanted to get together but you’re not working with me. What gives?
 
As counselor, I realize that they missed each other by a country mile. If both of them want to connect, what is getting in their way? Is this merely an attachment wound playing out? Is this just this couple or is there a man/woman communication dynamic ? I am seeing this exact story in multiple couples right now. They want the connection and are not doing the work to connect. At first, I thought it was just being lazy, now I think there is more to it. Any ideas?
 
Would you walk them through the story with each giving their perspective and helping them be highly empathetic? That is what I did and it worked well.
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

    _

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    November 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012

    Categories

    All
    Building Relationships Improving Communication
    Communication
    Counseling
    Counselor
    Couples
    Couples Counseling
    Dating
    Emotional Intelligence
    Gender
    Gender Communication
    Goleman
    Jealousy
    Love
    Marital Counseling
    Relationships
    Resolutions
    Romance
    Soft Skills
    Time Magazine
    Training
    Valentine's Day

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.