On Match.com “When a woman hits the “Interested” button, should I ask her out?”
The interested button is there to indicate interest in starting a conversation, which could possibly lead to dating. Here is how I have seen it work: Send her a message. She replies. Send another message. She replies. Send her a message and give her your phone number to either text or call and she will likely either reciprocate or continue messaging. (Same holds true for a “wink” or a “favorite”)
“She ‘favorited’ me and then would not reply to my very first message. It wasn’t creepy or anything, perhaps boring. What should I do?”
It’s good that she expressed an interest. There is no telling why she stopped communicating. I have heard from some women that they want a man to fight for them and work for it (yes, that is a game). I have heard others say that she will contact you if she is interested. Maybe something happened at work, or with family or with an old boyfriend, who knows? Personally, chasing someone at this stage does not appeal to most men.
What is a good first date for someone you met on-line?
Good is the usual- meet at a coffee shop. It signals that you are not trying very hard, playing it really safe. Plan on 45 minutes to 90 minutes. Be the one to signal you are ready to leave, that you have places to be and are important. Unless, unless it is going so well, that you then order food or leave there and go to another place together (each driving your own car for safety reasons) and hang out. “I know this great place that serves…. Wanna come with me?”
Great is asking her to a place she noted in her profile she loved and that is also physically/emotionally safe. Usually, if she asks you, “You’re not a serial killer, are you?” that is indicating that she might feel unsafe with the location or with you at this time. If you are a serial killer, you are compelled by law to tell her.
Meet at the pier, out in public and do something to make it a little special. Bring a bottle of wine for an impromptu picnic, bring a candle to roast marshmallows or do the whole s’more thing.
Best date idea? Air Hockey at Adventure Landing for a woman who mentioned air hockey in her messages. It is safe, fun, memorable and she’ll either think you are a riot or that you have never grown up. So, a little risky.
Do I give her a kiss at the end of the first date?
Yes, absolutely, if, and only if, there is an obvious signal from her to do so. If you have to guess, or are not certain, do not do it. People feel very strongly about this. Or heck, you could try the old fashioned approach and talk about it.
“You’re wondering whether you should kiss me, right?” the man asked the woman. She was taken off guard and said, “No.”
“I mean, if you want to kiss me, I’m okay with that. But I’m okay waiting another date. I may be a flirt, but I’m not promiscuous.” He finishes.
She reaches over and kisses him.
I’ve seen people intentionally create sexual tension and play with it as part of their flirting. They kinda lean in close while they are talking and then lean in a little further, waiting for the woman to do a little bit of the work for a kiss. If the woman fails to lean in at all, no kiss. Or they look from eye to eye then to the lips and gently bite their own lower lip.
There’s a signal. Other non-verbal signals include increased respiration, dilated pupils, touching, increased heart rate (for those of you with a pulse oximeter with you).
Don’t make it a big deal. Act like you have kissed before and you are not desperate for a kiss balancing the desire for a kiss, of course.
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