Here are the highlights: We are attracted to people who show their health. Physically healthy people get more romantic attention than those who are clearly unhealthy. The same holds true for emotionally mature people, people who can stand on their own two feet, hold their own, be true to themselves and not sell out when push comes to shove. They tend to be more confident, sure of themselves, for good reason. They have a vibrancy and a sense of inner calm. They know what they want and go for it, able to keep their hearts open, living in the moment. They tend to be curious, creative, genuine and like to explore new ways of being. Because they know who they are, they are not afraid of being known (intimacy). They are not overconfident, they just know that no matter what happens, they can handle it.
When we lose the spark, it is often that something internally is challenging us. We confront ourselves and are called to grow. For example, if I am over-accommodating in a relationship, I have lost the spark as has the relationship. When I am true to myself, take responsibility for my role, I get my own spark back, which increases the likelihood that the relationship will, as well. It is not a guarantee, since it takes two people, it simply makes it more likely. There are also times that when the spark returns for one person, they realize changes have to be made. It could be that the relationship has to fundamentally change to accommodate or it has to end.
There are usually apologies and a bit of forgiveness, more of an attempt at balancing family, friends, work, alone time, physical exercise, hobbies etc. with self-care. They balance their own masculine and feminine energies (yin/yang).
In other words, as people get healthier, take care of themselves and restore balance, the natural passion that lies inside each of us simply resurfaces. It becomes effortless, once we get out of our own way.
Passion attracts passion.
What is your experience with how passion works in your life? Feel free to comment here or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org