“Meditation is not to prevent your mind from wandering, but to notice when your mind wanders. Let the thoughts go and gently return the thoughts to breathing. Great practice for being in the moment and aware of yourself.
The same is true for sex and orgasm. Keep focusing on pleasure and staying in the moment.
Exercise:
Begin with sensory exploration, paying attention to how your body feels.
Start at 0 and allow your arousal to grow to 5.
Now you’re definitely interested and turned on. Allow it to go back down to 1.
Allow the tension in your muscles to dissipate.
Go back up to a 6 out of 10 and then back down to 2.
Notice when your attention strays to outside thoughts, and let those thoughts go -returning your attention to the sensations of the body, and remember to breathe.
Go up to 7 then down to 3. 7 is pretty aroused.
By the time you get to a 7 your body may become reluctant to stop moving towards orgasm.
Take your foot off the accelerator, and do not put the brakes on.
Turn off the accelerator without hitting the brakes. Allow your muscles to relax, and the arousal to dissipate softly.
Go up to 8 and go back down to 4
Up to 9 then down to 5.
9 is a very high level of arousal. Your body is very much on the train at this point.
It wants to move forward to its destination. It may be difficult when you first try this to relax the abdominal thigh and butt muscles enough to ease arousal.
Remember you are relaxing -not putting on the brakes. When you relax these muscles, you may experience a kind of spreading warmth or tingling.
These slower orgasms spread out over your whole body, not just focused on the genitals -return your attention to the sensations of the body.
Now go up to 9 1/2 and down to 6.
9 1/2 is the bittersweet screaming edge of orgasm.
It might be difficult to take pressure off the accelerator at first.
You don’t have to -the worst that can happen is that you have an orgasm.
Once you get the knack of it, allow you or arousal to reach 6; go back to 9 1/2 then down to 7.
You need to make a deliberate effort to ease tension away from the abdomen buttocks and thigh muscles because that tension can push you over the edge.
Again you’re not hitting the brakes, you’re taking your foot off the accelerator
By relaxing, you’ll sense the arousal spreading from your genitals radiating into the rest of your body.
So again, it’s the abdomen buttocks and thigh muscles that will push you over the edge.
Go back to 9 1/2 and down to eight.
Back to 9 1/2 down to nine.
By now, you are constantly hovering around orgasm, holding yourself at the peak sexual tension that your body can contain.
That’s what we call extended orgasm. Congratulations!
With practice you can stay there as long as you like- as long as your body can sustain, always noticing what you’re paying attention to, and gently nudging your attention toward the sensations in the body.
You’re a bit like a bathtub at this point where the tension is trickling into you at the exactly the same rate that it’s raining out.
If it begins to trickle just a little bit more quickly than draining out, you’ll cross the threshold and overflow.
If it begins to drain, just a bit more quickly than it’s trickling in, you’ll drift away from the peak.
No such thing as failure here, only different kinds of success.
Pleasure, intense pleasure, is the idea.
Even if you don’t have an extended orgasm, you’re still gonna have loads of pleasure.”
Practice that for a full month and see what changes you notice.
Can you see why I suggested the book Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski, PhD?
The same is true for sex and orgasm. Keep focusing on pleasure and staying in the moment.
Exercise:
Begin with sensory exploration, paying attention to how your body feels.
Start at 0 and allow your arousal to grow to 5.
Now you’re definitely interested and turned on. Allow it to go back down to 1.
Allow the tension in your muscles to dissipate.
Go back up to a 6 out of 10 and then back down to 2.
Notice when your attention strays to outside thoughts, and let those thoughts go -returning your attention to the sensations of the body, and remember to breathe.
Go up to 7 then down to 3. 7 is pretty aroused.
By the time you get to a 7 your body may become reluctant to stop moving towards orgasm.
Take your foot off the accelerator, and do not put the brakes on.
Turn off the accelerator without hitting the brakes. Allow your muscles to relax, and the arousal to dissipate softly.
Go up to 8 and go back down to 4
Up to 9 then down to 5.
9 is a very high level of arousal. Your body is very much on the train at this point.
It wants to move forward to its destination. It may be difficult when you first try this to relax the abdominal thigh and butt muscles enough to ease arousal.
Remember you are relaxing -not putting on the brakes. When you relax these muscles, you may experience a kind of spreading warmth or tingling.
These slower orgasms spread out over your whole body, not just focused on the genitals -return your attention to the sensations of the body.
Now go up to 9 1/2 and down to 6.
9 1/2 is the bittersweet screaming edge of orgasm.
It might be difficult to take pressure off the accelerator at first.
You don’t have to -the worst that can happen is that you have an orgasm.
Once you get the knack of it, allow you or arousal to reach 6; go back to 9 1/2 then down to 7.
You need to make a deliberate effort to ease tension away from the abdomen buttocks and thigh muscles because that tension can push you over the edge.
Again you’re not hitting the brakes, you’re taking your foot off the accelerator
By relaxing, you’ll sense the arousal spreading from your genitals radiating into the rest of your body.
So again, it’s the abdomen buttocks and thigh muscles that will push you over the edge.
Go back to 9 1/2 and down to eight.
Back to 9 1/2 down to nine.
By now, you are constantly hovering around orgasm, holding yourself at the peak sexual tension that your body can contain.
That’s what we call extended orgasm. Congratulations!
With practice you can stay there as long as you like- as long as your body can sustain, always noticing what you’re paying attention to, and gently nudging your attention toward the sensations in the body.
You’re a bit like a bathtub at this point where the tension is trickling into you at the exactly the same rate that it’s raining out.
If it begins to trickle just a little bit more quickly than draining out, you’ll cross the threshold and overflow.
If it begins to drain, just a bit more quickly than it’s trickling in, you’ll drift away from the peak.
No such thing as failure here, only different kinds of success.
Pleasure, intense pleasure, is the idea.
Even if you don’t have an extended orgasm, you’re still gonna have loads of pleasure.”
Practice that for a full month and see what changes you notice.
Can you see why I suggested the book Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski, PhD?
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