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Poor Communication

4/20/2017

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​I am going to introduce a concept that many of you have already heard of.
Other forms of Life -Alienating communication:
  1. Communicating our desires as demands is yet another form of language of that blocks compassion. A demand explicitly or implicitly threatens listeners with blame or punishment if they fail to comply.
  2. The concept that certain actions merit reward while others merit punishment is also associated with life -alienating communication. 
This thinking is expressed by the word "deserve" as in "he deserves to be punished for what he did."
It assumes badness on the part of people who behave in certain ways, and it calls for punishment to make them repent and change their behavior.  
 
"I believe it is in everyone's interest that people change, not in order to avoid punishment, but because they see the change as benefiting themselves." MR
 
"Life -alienating communication both stems from, and supports, hierarchical or "domination societies," where large populations are controlled by a small number of individuals to those individuals own benefit. 
     It would be in the interest of Kings, czars, nobles, and so forth that the masses be educated in a way that renders them slave -like in mentality. 
     The language of wrongness, "should," and "have to" is perfectly suited for this purpose: the more people are trained to think in terms of moralistic judgments that imply wrongness and badness, the more they are being trained to look outside themselves, to outside authorities, for the definition of what constitutes right, wrong, good, and bad. When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings." Marshall Rosenberg
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    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

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