Gottman suggests you consider the power and fairness metric
"Power needs to be fairly, not equally, distributed in a relationship. It is very difficult to establish deep and lasting trust in a relationship that has an unwelcome power asymmetry- feels unfair to at least one person and trust erodes. Ask your partner about power in the relationship, what are they expecting or hoping to get?
It has to feel fair, not be equal- almost never is equal.
When someone begins to think they cannot get a fair shake, that the relationship is lopsided, they begin to exit. It may take awhile to actually exit, but they start seeking that path as the best option available right now."
Thank you for taking the ride through Gottman's Cascade. Many people have said they found this really helpful in determining how to prevent/predict a future affair by choosing the path wisely. Stay tuned in to your spouse, your partner and you are more likely to have one another's back, that is, have a trustworthy relationship.
Any suggestions for future topics are always welcome either by comment here or on my email [email protected]
All the best,
Don