Ecstatic pleasure cannot coexist with shame, stress, fear, anger, bitterness, rage, or exhaustion.
Practicing ecstasy is practicing living outside of all of those feelings- learning how to release them.
Pay attention to judgment and non-judgment.
When we try to numb emotional pain, we get a break from the pain but the healing is put on pause.
So when the threat isn’t around anymore to fight against or run away from, what do you do with those feelings?
The feels exist in their body without reference to the person who they left behind in the past. It takes practice to complete the cycle and feel the feelings all the way through.
Many women make their choices, based not on what they like, but on what they believe their partner likes or what they’ve been told they should like.
Is not a virtue and pleasure is not a sin. We’ve been lied to all our lives. In the author’s experience, women struggle with non-judging pleasure more than they struggle with non-judging discomfort.
We shut down pleasure so intuitively that we don’t even notice that we have done it. If you don’t judge pleasure or joy, it grows.
When you turn towards suffering with non-judgment, suffering diminishes as wounds heal.
When you turn toward pleasure with non-judgment, it expands to fill the space that judgments once filled.
Pleasure is a gateway to accessing your fullest, truest personhood.
Pleasure is where you find a no holds barred connection with yourself, and with those who love you most. Pleasure only happens in a context where your brain feels safe enough to be completely and entirely you without shame, or social performance, or should. Ecstasy comes to us when we leave behind everything that doesn’t delight us or spark our curiosity. Ecstasy comes when we surrender to pleasure without reservation.
You are allowed to like pleasure. Just notice it with non-judgment first.
Embracing pleasure may require that we acknowledge desires, and curiosities and sensations that we were taught all our lives were shameful.
It may require that we abandon all hope that we will ever conform to the model of sexual relationships that we believed is the one and only right kind. Stay very still, notice all the aspects of your identity.
They were tied to the lies that you were told.
Notice all the grief you feel, and letting go of the south, you spent your life trying to be.
Notice the anger you feel at having been lied to for so long.
Notice all of these with non-judgment. Allow them to be true.
Magnificent Sex (great book)
Practicing ecstasy is practicing living outside of all of those feelings- learning how to release them.
Pay attention to judgment and non-judgment.
When we try to numb emotional pain, we get a break from the pain but the healing is put on pause.
So when the threat isn’t around anymore to fight against or run away from, what do you do with those feelings?
The feels exist in their body without reference to the person who they left behind in the past. It takes practice to complete the cycle and feel the feelings all the way through.
Many women make their choices, based not on what they like, but on what they believe their partner likes or what they’ve been told they should like.
Is not a virtue and pleasure is not a sin. We’ve been lied to all our lives. In the author’s experience, women struggle with non-judging pleasure more than they struggle with non-judging discomfort.
We shut down pleasure so intuitively that we don’t even notice that we have done it. If you don’t judge pleasure or joy, it grows.
When you turn towards suffering with non-judgment, suffering diminishes as wounds heal.
When you turn toward pleasure with non-judgment, it expands to fill the space that judgments once filled.
Pleasure is a gateway to accessing your fullest, truest personhood.
Pleasure is where you find a no holds barred connection with yourself, and with those who love you most. Pleasure only happens in a context where your brain feels safe enough to be completely and entirely you without shame, or social performance, or should. Ecstasy comes to us when we leave behind everything that doesn’t delight us or spark our curiosity. Ecstasy comes when we surrender to pleasure without reservation.
You are allowed to like pleasure. Just notice it with non-judgment first.
Embracing pleasure may require that we acknowledge desires, and curiosities and sensations that we were taught all our lives were shameful.
It may require that we abandon all hope that we will ever conform to the model of sexual relationships that we believed is the one and only right kind. Stay very still, notice all the aspects of your identity.
They were tied to the lies that you were told.
Notice all the grief you feel, and letting go of the south, you spent your life trying to be.
Notice the anger you feel at having been lied to for so long.
Notice all of these with non-judgment. Allow them to be true.
Magnificent Sex (great book)
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