Getting the Spark Back: Preparing for Valentine’s Month
You thought it was a day? Nah, it is not an event, it is a process. Maybe that is where you went wrong last year? Are you tuned in to what she likes and wants? Do you spend time on the relationship or do you just wing it? Do you show her that you spent effort on her, that you care enough to plan something?
Let’s start with showing that you have the five attraction switches from the previous blog. Why? Because if there is no attraction, then it doesn't matter how nice and thoughtful you are. Remember the "friend zone?"
How do you demonstrate the attraction switches? You can just tell her to take your word for it or you can tell stories about yourself that demonstrate those qualities, without bragging. It can be a fine line sometimes.
What are eight qualities you want her to know about you? What makes you stand out? How do you demonstrate that you are worth spending time talking to?
Check your motivation: I'm not telling the stories to fascinate them.
I'm telling them to inspire them to regale me with stories from their past. They can be ironic, embarrassing, adventurous, sexy, awkward, naïve, touching, poetic, dangerous, heroic, confusing… however, they must evoke a positive image of me and positive emotions.
That idea is from the Pick Up Artists.
Consider ideas from Susan Johnson’s book Hold Me Tight. It is my new favorite book on how to deeply connect on an emotional level. Once you already know there is an attraction and you want to deepen it, try Johnson’s book. It is a game changer! It even has it broken down for you what to say when you are not sure how to connect. Doesn’t get much easier than that.
For those of you who have already read that book- any ideas you used for Valentine's Day? Would love to hear from you donboice@boicecounseling.com is my email for those of you who don't want to post here on the blog.
You thought it was a day? Nah, it is not an event, it is a process. Maybe that is where you went wrong last year? Are you tuned in to what she likes and wants? Do you spend time on the relationship or do you just wing it? Do you show her that you spent effort on her, that you care enough to plan something?
Let’s start with showing that you have the five attraction switches from the previous blog. Why? Because if there is no attraction, then it doesn't matter how nice and thoughtful you are. Remember the "friend zone?"
How do you demonstrate the attraction switches? You can just tell her to take your word for it or you can tell stories about yourself that demonstrate those qualities, without bragging. It can be a fine line sometimes.
What are eight qualities you want her to know about you? What makes you stand out? How do you demonstrate that you are worth spending time talking to?
Check your motivation: I'm not telling the stories to fascinate them.
I'm telling them to inspire them to regale me with stories from their past. They can be ironic, embarrassing, adventurous, sexy, awkward, naïve, touching, poetic, dangerous, heroic, confusing… however, they must evoke a positive image of me and positive emotions.
That idea is from the Pick Up Artists.
Consider ideas from Susan Johnson’s book Hold Me Tight. It is my new favorite book on how to deeply connect on an emotional level. Once you already know there is an attraction and you want to deepen it, try Johnson’s book. It is a game changer! It even has it broken down for you what to say when you are not sure how to connect. Doesn’t get much easier than that.
For those of you who have already read that book- any ideas you used for Valentine's Day? Would love to hear from you donboice@boicecounseling.com is my email for those of you who don't want to post here on the blog.
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