Couples who sustain a strong, sexual connection over multiple decades have two things in common - one they are friends who prioritize sex.
It is normal for there to be times in your relationship where sex is not a priority, and in some relationships it is never a priority.
When the context is right, you long to welcome someone into your garden.
Remember that they’re used to working in their own garden, and their garden is different from yours.
Their body, brakes and accelerator, the seeds of their family and culture planted, the way they were taught to garden, may be similar to yours or maybe totally different.
If you and your partner are different from each other, remember that neither of you is better or worse, even if one of you conform more to this current cultural standard.
A potato farmer would be plain old wrong to suggest that roses should be grown underground.
What works for one plant might not work for the other plant.
I hope that anyone you like and respect enough to invite into your Garden likes and respects you too.
They should want to help your garden thrive just as you want to help their garden thrive. They might just not know how to do it.
You have to teach your partner about responsive desire.
You’re not broken, you are a tomato plant in a world that expects you to be a cactus. if you thrive on more water, tell your partner, and celebrate it together.
Tell each other what context activates your accelerator and what context hit the brakes.
Reminder: June 10 is the Singles Mingle
6:30 at Union Tavern. Talk about how to change the culture of dating in the area. Come join us for a quick facilitated discussion and then we will discuss which topics you want for future times we meet. Then we mingle.
Note: I just updated the website and have more YouTube videos on the topic of dating. Please feel free to share if you know anyone who wants research based ideas for dating.
It is normal for there to be times in your relationship where sex is not a priority, and in some relationships it is never a priority.
When the context is right, you long to welcome someone into your garden.
Remember that they’re used to working in their own garden, and their garden is different from yours.
Their body, brakes and accelerator, the seeds of their family and culture planted, the way they were taught to garden, may be similar to yours or maybe totally different.
If you and your partner are different from each other, remember that neither of you is better or worse, even if one of you conform more to this current cultural standard.
A potato farmer would be plain old wrong to suggest that roses should be grown underground.
What works for one plant might not work for the other plant.
I hope that anyone you like and respect enough to invite into your Garden likes and respects you too.
They should want to help your garden thrive just as you want to help their garden thrive. They might just not know how to do it.
You have to teach your partner about responsive desire.
You’re not broken, you are a tomato plant in a world that expects you to be a cactus. if you thrive on more water, tell your partner, and celebrate it together.
Tell each other what context activates your accelerator and what context hit the brakes.
Reminder: June 10 is the Singles Mingle
6:30 at Union Tavern. Talk about how to change the culture of dating in the area. Come join us for a quick facilitated discussion and then we will discuss which topics you want for future times we meet. Then we mingle.
Note: I just updated the website and have more YouTube videos on the topic of dating. Please feel free to share if you know anyone who wants research based ideas for dating.
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