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Should you ask your partner to grow?

4/15/2015

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There is a debate on this one.


Some say that if you really love your partner, then you should accept them as they are and never ask them to change. I am not in that camp.


Others suggest that marital love is the least unconditional of all love. You can lose someone's love depending on their behavior. Therefore, let them know what you want from them and be willing to overlook the minor things.


Someone called me a relentless innovator. I am always reading and trying to improve my self and my business systems. I want to be better and pride myself in asking for feedback. 

Having said that, hearing feedback is a reminder I am not perfect and makes me vulnerable. It is painful to hear feedback. It hurts my ego. Part of me knows it is necessary to solicit and incorporate feedback; another part of me loves the status quo, the comfortable below the radar life. 


I love it and I hate it at the same time.

As I am typing this, at the local doughnut shop,  I overheard someone say, "They keep doing the same thing and expect different results. "

In the business world, people get performance improvement plans if they are not measuring up to the expectations of management. 


What is the equivalent in a relationship? 

If you want to grow, ask for feedback, listen to it, mull it over and incorporate it. 

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    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

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