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Tantric Massage (2)

4/18/2020

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Tantric Massage by Ellen Green and Mike Sanders
​
 “Tantric massage helps people understand their body and their needs better. talk about your needs what you like and don’t like. Don’t let your partner guess or mind read.” Get to know yourself well enough that you can tell your partner. Ask for what you want so that you are taking responsibility for your pleasure. Explore and experiment with what you like and do not like and communicate that to your partner.
 
“Some men talk about creating a connection between their penis and the rest of their body and this type of massage helps that connection.” Imagine the tantric exercise of putting one hand on his heart while you breathe in synch. Then put the other hand on his penis while you breathe in synch. Some men do not quite get the multiple connections between their heart and their penis. Make love with the parts of you that make love, please.
 
“Men will also learn about receiving pleasure without having to touch or give anything back in return. On a psychological level, most men are not used to giving up control, and they are more likely to be expected to be “performing.” I should not use the word “men.” Instead, it should be “the masculine” because that is more verbally precise. Generally, the masculine likes to be a good sexual provider and that does not seem to include receiving and yet… So, no performing, just receiving one time (she gets a turn at just receiving as well) and learning what he likes, with words, he tells you what he likes and what he would like more of.
 
“They tend to receive most of their pleasure by touching, grabbing, looking and even giving. They only need to let go and relax for enjoying this kind of massage. Relinquishing their control and placing their trust wholly in their partner can be quite a “turn on” for the partner as well. Relinquishing control can be quite erotic.” It allows the masculine to try on the feminine aspect of sex as well, the yin and the yang, which is what tantra is asking you to try. Don’t limit yourself or pretend that the limit actually exists.
 
“It allows them to deepen their spiritual bond with their partner as well. They will get to understand the manner in which they should use their sexual energy and then channel it towards higher levels of their being, something that goes beyond sex.
 
“They will learn to open their hearts and love fully, bare their souls to their partners and it will obviously let them get more creative with their sexual acts as well. It will help men form a bond with their partner that surpasses any physical bond that they might previously have had.
 
“A bond that goes beyond physicality is quite strong, and it will deepen the relationship.”

​Well, what are you waiting for? After that intro, let’s do the massage.
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    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

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