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Tantric Massage (4)

4/20/2020

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Be Present and Responsive to Your Partner During Tantric Massage
​
  “When massaging the male you’ll need to change, slow down or stop what you were doing before he reaches the point of no return. Repeated peaking can at times help men have multiple orgasms without actually ejaculating.
 
“Repeated peaking helps in delaying the orgasm and when it does come, that orgasm would be like no other. The main objective of the massage is to provide maximum pleasure.” Ejaculating is not the goal, because there is no goal, other than to enjoy the journey. Faster, slower, listen to the breath and tune in to one another...
 
Make sure you are using lubrication and that you have trimmed your finger nails, no sharp edges (and the callouses on your hands are generously lubed at all times, so that it does not feel like sandpaper).
 
“It isn’t necessary that the man needs to have an erection throughout the duration of the massage. Some massage strokes feel better when a penis is soft.  Men, you don’t need to worry about whether or not your penis is erect.
 
“It is a safe bet to assume that firm and consistent stroking feels good for the man.” Again, the man is not performing, but receiving. Focus on your whole body, not just your penis. Be where you are and be present, eyes open so that your consciousness is focused on the massage, not on fantasy land."
All quotes are from Tantric Massage by Ellen Green and Mike Sanders
 
 
In the book there are actual techniques: healing stroke, anvil stroke, climbing the mountain. Check out the book for the techniques.
 
The main points are to make sure that you pay attention to the entire body and when you’re doing general massage make sure that you’re having variety in your stroke and continue to stroke, even after his orgasm, or stop if your lover asked you to stop stroking. Variety is a huge deal. Talk about the timing of the orgasm, if you are choosing to have one. One complaint is that the woman stops too soon because she misreads when he is ready to be done.
 
Exercise: Talk about what you might like to receive and how. Talk about how you see this encounter going and compare notes with your partner. Talk about expectations for just receiving versus penetration and ejaculation.
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    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

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