“Try this: breathe in sync with one another
“Remember that when you are massaging, you are trying to relax the person and then stimulate them, make sure they feel safe with the slow and gentle movements first.” Get emotional closeness, emotional safety and ask them if this is okay and ask for feedback or you won’t know for sure what they like. Some people struggle with this in a big way and say that everything is okay or good or nice. You are not looking to be graded or flattered, you are wondering if they would like you to keep touching them in this manner or if you have a different preference.
“Set aside about two hours for this. Women, this is your chance to not only pleasure your partner but also show them how much you love them and your willingness to pleasure your partner. Provide him with a sensual experience that he will enjoy.” If you do not have two hours, please set expectations accordingly. When in tantra, the lovemaking and exercises will take about two hours or so. Let your partner know ahead of time what you are thinking. If it is going to be shorter, talk about your expectations.
“Some women say that they are not comfortable with handling a man’s penis and if this is the case, then it would do you some good to set aside a little while to reflect upon the reasons for the negative impressions that you might seem to have about the penis. This type of massage includes the massage of the testicles, the perineum and the prostate.” This might be a good time to mention “charity sex.” That is when one person is not in the mood but they let their partner have sex with their body. I have heard people say that they are good sex partners because they let their husband have sex with them. There are two people in sex. If both are not into it, healthy people tend to decline that offer. If you are not in the mood for sex, that is okay. If you are not in the mood to handle a penis or to perform fellatio, say so. If there is an underlying issue, address the issue with courage. If there is healing that needs to happen, do the work to heal. Healthy sexuality, sacred sexuality, healthy communication… these are ways to transform your life. Don’t give up because you are procrastinating or lazy or scared. You got this. There are specifics in the book on how to handle and massage the penis, testicles and prostate.
“Sex can become a sacred experience... try to find more pleasure and feel more in general, it can become a wave of immense pleasure.
“Both partners are breathing deeply and slowly. When she inhales she’ll be receiving all of his sexual energy and arousal‘s and loving energy is transferred to him when she exhales. It will make the giver more empathetic toward the thoughts and feelings of the receiver. It will also help in improving sexual intuition of the massage giver and make her more aware of what her partner wants. The same is true when you switch roles.
“Breathing slowly and deeply is really important breathe in sync with your partner and keep gently lovingly reminding them to do so.
The book goes into more detail as far as the actual massage I would encourage you to get the book. They spent a fair amount of time on the prostate massage and that’s worth conversation with your partner.
There’s also a lot of talk about bonding through eye contact.
Remember that the woman may expect that you the giver expect something in return and therefore they hold off some of the enjoyment of the massage. Talk about expectations before the massage starts.
The book gives very detailed description of what to do and how to do it. Rather than re-create the book, I strongly urge you to read it. It will help with your technique and your approach to massage.
“Shower your partner with attention and pay homage to their body. The sexual high that you will receive will be like nothing that you have ever experienced. Knowing that you’ve given them such a pleasure will do some good for your ego it’ll make you feel good about yourself give your partner your true self that is the best gift that you can give.
“Tantra transcends physical boundaries of the mortal realm.”
Exercise: Ask your partner to buy you the book for the next holiday, if you have not already bought the book. Who doesn’t enjoy an educated touch and learning more about how to bring pleasure to your partner?