Tantric Massage by Ellen Green and Mike Sanders
“Women tend to think of the G spot orgasms as deeper and the clitoral orgasm as distinctly sharper.
“Keep massaging going on through one peak and then to another.” You can keep stimulating and mixing it up. After an orgasm, the clitoris is potentially overstimulated so move away for up to 30 seconds (or more if she tells you longer) but still touch her and massage and the female body has the capacity for multiple orgasms, so go ahead and keep massaging her sexually. Try alternating from clitoral to Gspot and then consider the cervical orgasm (not often referenced- I’d ask you to look that up- not covered here) and talk about that.
“Communication is key about expectations before, during and after. Some people refrain from sexual activity after massage so that they can just receive or just give and then later they make love.
Specifics: “Usually, women prefer having their entire vulva stimulated by rubbing gently, followed up with clitoral stimulation and finally having their G spot stimulated. Neither clitoral nor vaginal stimulation tends to feel good unless the woman happens to be in a high state of arousal.” Consider touching different zones of her body, the primary, secondary and tertiary sexual zones, so that her whole body is alive and feeling stimulation and the waves come. Women tend to prefer less variety in stroke when approaching orgasm itself. Variety is good during the massage, but when she is near climax, slow down and gentle, less stimulation- ask her about this, in case her preference is different.
“Ask her what she likes best when it comes to each of the above. Each part of her body is sacred and to be respected and honored, just as yours is.
“It is quite helpful to include verbal as well as non-verbal encouragement while massaging your partner. Tell the receiver something sexy about their body that you enjoy seeing them in a vulnerable position and that you like the way their body reacts to your body. Some women report that they’re worried that perhaps her partner is getting tired of pleasuring them with a woman might feel pressure of having an orgasm to please you.” Women talk about not wanting to put the male out by having to do too much work or maybe trying too hard to have an orgasm. Orgasm is not the goal, pleasure is the goal and then channeling the energy. If you are intent on giving her an orgasm, consider the perspective that it might be your issue not hers. Don’t make her feel like she is letting you down by not orgasming or then she might fake it. Talk about faking it with her. Ask her to never fake it so that she does not train you to do stuff that does not lead to orgasm. Tell her what you like about her body. Both men and women are sensitive about their bodies and this is not the right time to mention weight, scars, birthmarks etc. anything that might be sensitive to them. Make them feel good about themselves by pointing out what you appreciate about them.
Exercise: Make a list of things you like about your partner to share during this phase.
“Women tend to think of the G spot orgasms as deeper and the clitoral orgasm as distinctly sharper.
“Keep massaging going on through one peak and then to another.” You can keep stimulating and mixing it up. After an orgasm, the clitoris is potentially overstimulated so move away for up to 30 seconds (or more if she tells you longer) but still touch her and massage and the female body has the capacity for multiple orgasms, so go ahead and keep massaging her sexually. Try alternating from clitoral to Gspot and then consider the cervical orgasm (not often referenced- I’d ask you to look that up- not covered here) and talk about that.
“Communication is key about expectations before, during and after. Some people refrain from sexual activity after massage so that they can just receive or just give and then later they make love.
Specifics: “Usually, women prefer having their entire vulva stimulated by rubbing gently, followed up with clitoral stimulation and finally having their G spot stimulated. Neither clitoral nor vaginal stimulation tends to feel good unless the woman happens to be in a high state of arousal.” Consider touching different zones of her body, the primary, secondary and tertiary sexual zones, so that her whole body is alive and feeling stimulation and the waves come. Women tend to prefer less variety in stroke when approaching orgasm itself. Variety is good during the massage, but when she is near climax, slow down and gentle, less stimulation- ask her about this, in case her preference is different.
“Ask her what she likes best when it comes to each of the above. Each part of her body is sacred and to be respected and honored, just as yours is.
“It is quite helpful to include verbal as well as non-verbal encouragement while massaging your partner. Tell the receiver something sexy about their body that you enjoy seeing them in a vulnerable position and that you like the way their body reacts to your body. Some women report that they’re worried that perhaps her partner is getting tired of pleasuring them with a woman might feel pressure of having an orgasm to please you.” Women talk about not wanting to put the male out by having to do too much work or maybe trying too hard to have an orgasm. Orgasm is not the goal, pleasure is the goal and then channeling the energy. If you are intent on giving her an orgasm, consider the perspective that it might be your issue not hers. Don’t make her feel like she is letting you down by not orgasming or then she might fake it. Talk about faking it with her. Ask her to never fake it so that she does not train you to do stuff that does not lead to orgasm. Tell her what you like about her body. Both men and women are sensitive about their bodies and this is not the right time to mention weight, scars, birthmarks etc. anything that might be sensitive to them. Make them feel good about themselves by pointing out what you appreciate about them.
Exercise: Make a list of things you like about your partner to share during this phase.
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