Wired for Love
Tatkin
The “couple bubble”
Different styles look at the couple bubble differently. Can you agree to your partner to be available 24/7?
Is that something that appeals to you and your partner?
Do you feel more loved and secure when that’s available?
We would not ask that of anyone else, and nobody else would want to do it for us.
The availability works both ways. It can feel burdensome at times, but the effort is well worth the trouble.
People who expect one another to be available 24 seven are high maintenance and should be considered high maintenance.
What I mean here is that each person is willing to go the extra mile for the other.
They’re willing to put in the highest level of effort possible, for the mutual benefit. They’re willing to give freely, knowing they will receive the same in return.
Partners who create and maintain a tether to one another experience more personal safety and security, have more energy, take more risks, and experience overall less stress than couples who do not.
You are able to operate together in ways that are greater than if you each lived as essentially separate individuals.
I am always here for you. You can talk to me about anything anytime.
Signal to each other that you need the other person‘s attention and the signals do not have to be verbal.
You can take your partner’s hands in yours. You can give a certain look or gesture to communicate that I need your full attention or I have your full attention.
Please recognize your need to be tethered to another human being.
It may seem too threatening at first blush. Don’t be fooled, if you have a lot of people you can rally to your support you do feel secure, but you don’t have the same expectations as a go to person.
What do you actually want and need from your primary go to person?
Are you able to share and discuss all the feelings, worries, concerns, doubts, as well as the joys and emotional highs?
Can you share old secrets and memories?
Can you reveal crushes, infatuations and fantasies?
Are you available 24/7 even if it seems trivial?
Do you bid for one another’s attention and respond?
Tatkin
The “couple bubble”
Different styles look at the couple bubble differently. Can you agree to your partner to be available 24/7?
Is that something that appeals to you and your partner?
Do you feel more loved and secure when that’s available?
We would not ask that of anyone else, and nobody else would want to do it for us.
The availability works both ways. It can feel burdensome at times, but the effort is well worth the trouble.
People who expect one another to be available 24 seven are high maintenance and should be considered high maintenance.
What I mean here is that each person is willing to go the extra mile for the other.
They’re willing to put in the highest level of effort possible, for the mutual benefit. They’re willing to give freely, knowing they will receive the same in return.
Partners who create and maintain a tether to one another experience more personal safety and security, have more energy, take more risks, and experience overall less stress than couples who do not.
You are able to operate together in ways that are greater than if you each lived as essentially separate individuals.
I am always here for you. You can talk to me about anything anytime.
Signal to each other that you need the other person‘s attention and the signals do not have to be verbal.
You can take your partner’s hands in yours. You can give a certain look or gesture to communicate that I need your full attention or I have your full attention.
Please recognize your need to be tethered to another human being.
It may seem too threatening at first blush. Don’t be fooled, if you have a lot of people you can rally to your support you do feel secure, but you don’t have the same expectations as a go to person.
What do you actually want and need from your primary go to person?
Are you able to share and discuss all the feelings, worries, concerns, doubts, as well as the joys and emotional highs?
Can you share old secrets and memories?
Can you reveal crushes, infatuations and fantasies?
Are you available 24/7 even if it seems trivial?
Do you bid for one another’s attention and respond?
RSS Feed
