"The House" in Mediation

​Thinking About “The House” in Mediation?

1. There is nothing magical about getting the house. It does not mean that you won some epic power struggle. The house is simply a house; a place to sleep and have meals and create family time. Don’t overly attach to it to the point that you cannot walk away if you need to walk away.
2. Be realistic about being able to afford it, the repairs and upgrades/upkeep. If you spend all your time working, so that you can stay in the house, the house is probably going to be an obstacle in your relationship with your children.
3. It doesn’t need a lot of work. People underestimate the work their ex did in maintaining the house. It does take work, time, energy and resources. Their contribution might have been less visible than you realized and you may find yourself busier than you were before.
4. The children will be devastated if they have to move. Disappointed maybe, sad about the friends in the neighborhood, but you are most likely putting the feelings you have onto your children if this is your belief. Separate your feelings from the feelings of your children.
5. He owes it to me because of what he did. Wrong, nope, not how it works. Neither gender is “entitled.” This is now a business transaction and if you see it otherwise, it just might cloud your judgment.

 
What other myths, or distorted thoughts, have you heard about staying in the house?