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The Other “F” Word

2/11/2014

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Yes, I am talking about feelings. Feelings inform our decisions, our actions and our follow through.

In the book The Untethered Soul, I was especially interested in the part that talked about keeping your heart open, no matter what. If you have feelings you do not like, you tend to avoid or push them down and close down your heart (stifle your life force, your energy) in the process. Keep your heart open and deal openly with the feelings for the best results. Notice how much more energy you have when your heart stays open. Whatever is happening right now gets our focus and as soon as it is done, our attention moves on, if we are living in the moment.

It continues on about feelings and uses similar concepts to those of meditation. When meditating, we try to keep calm (equanimity), no matter what is happening in the outside world. Whether we like or dislike what is happening in the outside world does not matter. What matters is the discipline of observing it, much as one would observe clouds. We do not try to change the clouds or become too attached to the clouds. We simply observe them.

In Buddhism, the teaching is to allow whatever thoughts are there and simply return your focus to your breath. Whether we judge those particular thoughts to be good and lose our focus or judge them as bad and lose our focus, the fact is we have lost our focus. When we are training our mind, focus is important. Stay in the moment and do not let the outside world distract you and “knock you off your game.”

Feelings come into play when we judge the outside world. We like the way we feel when we judge the outside world favorably. We try to keep that feeling and create (control and manipulate) our circumstances so that we experience that particular feeling again. This is different than living in the moment and accepting what is happening, which helps us keep that sense of tranquility.





May you live in the moment today.


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    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

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