I am paying more attention to two types of entitled mentalities when it comes to marriage. There is the "Take care of me like my Mommy did" and "I am a Princess; rescue me from life." Let me outline the extremes of these:The Mommy marriage is expecting the spouse to do all the laundry, cooking, cleaning, make my lunch type of stuff and all I have to do is work at work and bring home money. Everything, or mostly everything else is on my partner.
The Princess one is the belief that you cannot stand on your own two feet. You cannot be expected to pull your own weight financially. You cannot be expected to do all the stuff around the house, either. And when tough things come, you cannot be expected to stand up for yourself and help yourself out.
On some level we all want to be taken care of. The catch is that it is a two way street. My needs to be taken care of are legit as are yours. First and foremost, I need to take care of myself. I am responsible for meeting my own needs. I can ask you to help me meet needs, as well. I do not demand it or expect it, if I am healthy. "I don't know how I will get through the day." "I just can't do any more than I am doing."
The entitled mentality has the person thinking that they somehow deserve special, unique treatment from their partner. There is no reciprocity, though, in the unhealthy relationship. Imagine this with emotional or physical health issues. One person takes the patient role and keeps it, rather than moving into different roles when they are back on their feet.
Being in relationship with someone who is temporarily not functioning is part of life. Someone gets a cold, a migraine, an operation and you give them a pass.
If they remain not functional, are not trying to change the situation, the whole relationship becomes dysfunctional quickly.
The Princess one is the belief that you cannot stand on your own two feet. You cannot be expected to pull your own weight financially. You cannot be expected to do all the stuff around the house, either. And when tough things come, you cannot be expected to stand up for yourself and help yourself out.
On some level we all want to be taken care of. The catch is that it is a two way street. My needs to be taken care of are legit as are yours. First and foremost, I need to take care of myself. I am responsible for meeting my own needs. I can ask you to help me meet needs, as well. I do not demand it or expect it, if I am healthy. "I don't know how I will get through the day." "I just can't do any more than I am doing."
The entitled mentality has the person thinking that they somehow deserve special, unique treatment from their partner. There is no reciprocity, though, in the unhealthy relationship. Imagine this with emotional or physical health issues. One person takes the patient role and keeps it, rather than moving into different roles when they are back on their feet.
Being in relationship with someone who is temporarily not functioning is part of life. Someone gets a cold, a migraine, an operation and you give them a pass.
If they remain not functional, are not trying to change the situation, the whole relationship becomes dysfunctional quickly.
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