How Do You Think About Sexual Intimacy in a Monogamous Relationship?
Monogamy is challenging, otherwise we wouldn’t read and hear so much about cheating. It does not have to be boring or dull. It can be amazing, if you talk about what you want. It can be wonderful if you continue to explore yourself and learn more about sex and its deeper purpose of self development.
How are you keeping your sexual relationship interesting, vital and transformative? Or have you settled or sold out?
Hot Monogamy Quotes by Pat Love:
“…the burst of sexual passion that accompanies a new relationship is time limited…couples that want to sustain passion and intimacy have to consciously create it. If you do not have intimacy skills, you will struggle to create it.”
“There is no upper limit to passion and intimacy!”
Exercise: Ask your partner if they think that this is hyperbole/exaggeration. Ask your partner if they would like to improve the connection between the two of you. Do the inventory in the book Hot Monogamy
Sexual Style Inventory (pages 21-35 within Hot Monogamy)
“I created other exercises that help couples explore- romance, sexual desire, sensuality, body image, communication about sex, technique and sexual variety”
“The strongest indicator of sexual and marital satisfaction for women was the ability to express sexual feelings to their partner.” (Speak openly and honestly to their partner. Plan for sex and make it happen regularly or you’ll find that it doesn’t happen.)
Exercise: Imagine the woman being able to express sexual feelings and ask for what they want with intimacy, emotionally and sexually. Now imagine the man listening and reciprocating this expression. Each person knows what the other wants and how they like to be.
EXERCISE: Taste Exercise- Remember, all 5 senses are to be used when being intimate to include the entire body- whiskey (obviously ask first), asparagus, pineapple, chocolate, marshmallow, bitters, beer, ice cream, or flavored lube etc- get to know what they like (talk about it first) and really experience the taste. Don’t gross them out or make it a yucky experience. Do they want one chocolate chip or a handful of m and m‘s? Are they needing a snack or just a chance to awaken their taste buds and their tongue? All of this is an exploration- be adventurous and creative, showing that you are thinking of them when you are not together. Usually good to ask first, rather than surprise…
Please talk about these things so that you are truly in it together as partners. Some things are great for “winging it” and other things frighten people or trigger them or perhaps they did this with someone else and it didn’t bring back good memories or they don’t want to be thinking of their ex while they are with you. You have to manage your jealousy and other feelings and still be able to talk.
Monogamy is challenging, otherwise we wouldn’t read and hear so much about cheating. It does not have to be boring or dull. It can be amazing, if you talk about what you want. It can be wonderful if you continue to explore yourself and learn more about sex and its deeper purpose of self development.
How are you keeping your sexual relationship interesting, vital and transformative? Or have you settled or sold out?
Hot Monogamy Quotes by Pat Love:
“…the burst of sexual passion that accompanies a new relationship is time limited…couples that want to sustain passion and intimacy have to consciously create it. If you do not have intimacy skills, you will struggle to create it.”
“There is no upper limit to passion and intimacy!”
Exercise: Ask your partner if they think that this is hyperbole/exaggeration. Ask your partner if they would like to improve the connection between the two of you. Do the inventory in the book Hot Monogamy
Sexual Style Inventory (pages 21-35 within Hot Monogamy)
“I created other exercises that help couples explore- romance, sexual desire, sensuality, body image, communication about sex, technique and sexual variety”
“The strongest indicator of sexual and marital satisfaction for women was the ability to express sexual feelings to their partner.” (Speak openly and honestly to their partner. Plan for sex and make it happen regularly or you’ll find that it doesn’t happen.)
Exercise: Imagine the woman being able to express sexual feelings and ask for what they want with intimacy, emotionally and sexually. Now imagine the man listening and reciprocating this expression. Each person knows what the other wants and how they like to be.
EXERCISE: Taste Exercise- Remember, all 5 senses are to be used when being intimate to include the entire body- whiskey (obviously ask first), asparagus, pineapple, chocolate, marshmallow, bitters, beer, ice cream, or flavored lube etc- get to know what they like (talk about it first) and really experience the taste. Don’t gross them out or make it a yucky experience. Do they want one chocolate chip or a handful of m and m‘s? Are they needing a snack or just a chance to awaken their taste buds and their tongue? All of this is an exploration- be adventurous and creative, showing that you are thinking of them when you are not together. Usually good to ask first, rather than surprise…
Please talk about these things so that you are truly in it together as partners. Some things are great for “winging it” and other things frighten people or trigger them or perhaps they did this with someone else and it didn’t bring back good memories or they don’t want to be thinking of their ex while they are with you. You have to manage your jealousy and other feelings and still be able to talk.
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