Boice Counseling
  • Home
  • Retreats and Books
    • Books and Audio
    • Helpful Resources
    • Insurance/Costs
  • Services
  • News/Blog
  • Contact Us

Too Busy to be a Spouse?

6/22/2012

0 Comments

 
I keep getting comments that go along this line-
Why does my husband/wife not have time for me? Why did we even get married, if he has to "fit me in?"

My quick reply is this and it may not be popular- If you have to "fit in" your spouse, your priorities are suspect. Whatever you think is important, you may need to revisit. If all your spouse is getting is leftovers, you may soon be an ex-spouse. If that happens, your priorities change rather quickly and sometimes not in your control. Obviously, I am oversimplifying to make a point.

Clarify what your values are and then live according to those values. If family is important to you, and you know the single most important thing in keeping the family together is your marriage, it stands to reason that you would work on your marriage proactively, before there were problems.

Instead, our ego gets in the way. "I am too important (busy) to do that," he thinks to himself. Then he rationalizes that it is more important to work that many hours than it is to spend quality time with his wife. When his wife starts cheating on him, or starts the divorce proceedings, he realizes that his logic stopped at a certain point.
Good luck working that many hours AND doing all the single parenting required when divorcing, oh yeah and the distractions that go along with divorce. Realistically, it is easier to stay married, spend time with your partner and reap the rewards of a good marriage. The price? Spend time with your spouse.

Look at your ego. When you are too busy, you are saying how important you are. When you are too busy for your spouse, the message is clear, "I am important and you are not." Try being on the receiving end of that message from your spouse and see how you respond.
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

    _

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    November 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012

    Categories

    All
    Building Relationships Improving Communication
    Communication
    Counseling
    Counselor
    Couples
    Couples Counseling
    Dating
    Emotional Intelligence
    Gender
    Gender Communication
    Goleman
    Jealousy
    Love
    Marital Counseling
    Relationships
    Resolutions
    Romance
    Soft Skills
    Time Magazine
    Training
    Valentine's Day

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.