One couple was working on the idea of who betrayed whom. She refused for a number of years to have sex with her husband and he cheated on her. He mentioned that her refusal to have sex or even talk about it was a form of betrayal/cheating.
Betrayal often manifests in a power struggle- career, choices with money, holidays, family etc.
Trust is the cornerstone and the main reason that many people get married. Once it is betrayed, it takes some time to prove oneself worthy of trust again.
When I trust my partner, Gottman notes, I can act with incomplete information. I don’t have to have all the information because I know you will act in my best interest. With mutual trust we deepen our love and friendship. We have more intimacy, freedom and less guesswork. This safety helps us deal better with stress, as well.
“My refuge is my spouse,” he said.