She said, “You rubbed my back, cooked my favorite food, spoiled me in every way possible. The sex was mind-blowing. I have never experienced even close to that level of intimacy and I love it. You not only listen, you’re kind to me and you remember what i said and act on it. I’m not used to this. This is the most connected I’ve ever felt. No one has ever done this for me. I love you. I am the luckiest person on the planet to have you. I am so glad you are in my life. I have never been treated this well or had sex this amazing. You are one of a kind.”
The very next day, she broke up.
What I wish she said, “I can’t take it in. I have trouble with feeling worthy of such things. I feel guilty for not reciprocating. I can’t process it. I need to push you away while I figure out what I need /want. I don’t want to get used to this and have it taken away from me. I can’t breathe. I’m not used to this. This is too many good things at once. Too many compliments, too much doting- therefore I need to push you away. It is just too much of everything that i said I wanted. I struggle to receive this much joy, bliss and ecstasy. And, while I have not complained about things I did not like or appreciate, there were those, too. I get that it is unfair to you to lead you to believe you were doing the right things. I should have told you what was wrong, all along. It sucks that it came to this and you are second guessing everything yet again. I wanted you to be my rock and when I realized that you also had needs, it freaked me out. And yet, that makes no sense because I want someone to be vulnerable with me. You get hurt easily and were more sensitive than I realized. I did not want to hurt you and realized I would hurt you a lot. You were too fast, too intense and it didn’t work for me. I thought I asked you to slow down in a way that you understood. I still want to be in your life, just not like we were.”
Can you imagine the difference for this couple if the person dropping had said the second paragraph instead of the first?
The very next day, she broke up.
What I wish she said, “I can’t take it in. I have trouble with feeling worthy of such things. I feel guilty for not reciprocating. I can’t process it. I need to push you away while I figure out what I need /want. I don’t want to get used to this and have it taken away from me. I can’t breathe. I’m not used to this. This is too many good things at once. Too many compliments, too much doting- therefore I need to push you away. It is just too much of everything that i said I wanted. I struggle to receive this much joy, bliss and ecstasy. And, while I have not complained about things I did not like or appreciate, there were those, too. I get that it is unfair to you to lead you to believe you were doing the right things. I should have told you what was wrong, all along. It sucks that it came to this and you are second guessing everything yet again. I wanted you to be my rock and when I realized that you also had needs, it freaked me out. And yet, that makes no sense because I want someone to be vulnerable with me. You get hurt easily and were more sensitive than I realized. I did not want to hurt you and realized I would hurt you a lot. You were too fast, too intense and it didn’t work for me. I thought I asked you to slow down in a way that you understood. I still want to be in your life, just not like we were.”
Can you imagine the difference for this couple if the person dropping had said the second paragraph instead of the first?
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