According to Rosenberg, there are four options when we receive a negative message:
1 We can blame ourselves
2 We can blame others
3 We can sense our own feelings and needs
4 We can sense the other person's feelings and needs.
Accept your responsibility for your feelings by acknowledging the thought behind it -"a blaming way of thinking generated my irritation" I can go a step further by identifying what I want; the more we are able to connect our feelings to our own needs, the easier it is for others to respond compassionately.