Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin
You took out a policy that would ensure your comfort when you formed this relationship. Because I’ve been there for my partner, I am able to relax and cash in when something seems to have gotten out of hand.
We prevent problems before they arise. If we can anticipate and avoid the predictable difficulties -that helps, rather than wait until I see trouble brewing.
I can anticipate and be proactive with my partner.
I can make a habit of saying, and doing the things that make him or her feel good.
I do not assume that they know how much I love them.
I do not assume that I have adequately expressed everything I appreciate.
I find new and creative ways to convey three or four things that make my partner feel good.
It is not actually critical that I correctly identify my own three or four things or know how to scratch my own itch. What is important is that I know how to do these for my partner.
How do you know if I am correct? The proof is in the pudding.
The evidence will always be visible on your partner’s face, audible in their voice, or apparent in their spontaneous shift in mood. Pay attention to their face, voice, mood.
If I’m not seeing the desired results, I’m probably not scratching the right itch.
Learn more about my partner is the goal.
I can keep experimenting, trial and error and do a feedback loop so I can become a better expert on my partner.
You took out a policy that would ensure your comfort when you formed this relationship. Because I’ve been there for my partner, I am able to relax and cash in when something seems to have gotten out of hand.
We prevent problems before they arise. If we can anticipate and avoid the predictable difficulties -that helps, rather than wait until I see trouble brewing.
I can anticipate and be proactive with my partner.
I can make a habit of saying, and doing the things that make him or her feel good.
I do not assume that they know how much I love them.
I do not assume that I have adequately expressed everything I appreciate.
I find new and creative ways to convey three or four things that make my partner feel good.
It is not actually critical that I correctly identify my own three or four things or know how to scratch my own itch. What is important is that I know how to do these for my partner.
How do you know if I am correct? The proof is in the pudding.
The evidence will always be visible on your partner’s face, audible in their voice, or apparent in their spontaneous shift in mood. Pay attention to their face, voice, mood.
If I’m not seeing the desired results, I’m probably not scratching the right itch.
Learn more about my partner is the goal.
I can keep experimenting, trial and error and do a feedback loop so I can become a better expert on my partner.
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